Alexander, Jane G
by violet-hana
Summary: Clearly, Aperture does not know anything about child labor laws. Or probably found a loophole. Why else would they hire a teenager?
1. Chapter 1

Jane G. Alexander was smart. Her parents, on the other hand, were not. Well, Mr. Alexander was smart enough to cheat on the college entrance exams to Harvard, and Mrs. Alexander was smart enough to marry Mr. Alexander. Unfortunately, they weren't smart enough to read the fine print. But we'll get right to that later.

Jane was not happy at all. Her mother was constantly forgetting Jane's name, and her father seemed to think that the definition of love and affection was give the brat money and shut her up.

Jane and her parents had a bitter relationship from the start. Mrs. Alexander never wanted a baby, and Mr. Alexander wanted a boy. So, Mrs. Alexander did the most a married socialite could, and hired a nanny. Mr. Alexander did the best a former high school football quarterback cum elite business man could, and slept with the nanny. The nanny, of course, was named Esparanza and was better at the sleeping with Mr. Alexander then with putting little Jane to sleep.

How Jane G. Alexander became Aperture Science's youngest AI specialist is a mystery to everyone.


	2. Chapter 2

Mr. Alexander stared at the screen. His paper business was doing fine, his wife wasn't creating any new drama, and his daughter was, well, being his daughter. When was the last time he talked to her?

Ah, well, she didn't seem to care. Or do much of anything. That he knew of.

Pushing aside the tiny anxiety that most parents have when thinking about their teenaged children, he sighed and stared at the screen some more.

Boredom. That was what was bothering the CEO of Fine Print Paper. Sure, the clawing upward over the bodies of his co-workers had been worth it, but now that he was the main head, he had no more backs to stab, no more crosses to double, no more faces to two face. Mr. Alexander had no desire to go to one of his wife's parties, and becoming an active figure in Jane's life was out of the question. He was a business man for Christ's sake! Business men don't become active in their children's lives until they got married and produced grandchildren!

Glancing at the family photo of the Alexanders, Mr. Alexander flipped through the various folders on his desk and signed a few, tossed a couple, and doodled on the rest. After a few minutes of doodling his wife exploding and a mysterious son appearing out of nowhere, he gave up and sighed.

"Why did I go to paper instead of electronics?" He mused. It might have to do with the fact that he had no patience for things pertaining to technology, despite his constant use of his phone and computer. "I need some adventure! Excitement! Or go on a vacation. In Morocco. With Esparanza. Mmmmmmm Esparanzaaaaa….."

A knock came from the door. "Mr. Alexander? A Dr. Johnson is here to see you," said the muffled voice of his secretary.

"Let him in", called Mr. Alexander. Dr. who? He didn't recall setting an appointment with a physician, much less one he had never heard of.

A tall thin man in his early 50s strolled into Mr. Alexander's executive office, followed by a petite woman in her mid-40s. "My name is Cave Johnson. I don't know what you've heard of me, but most of it is lies. Unless they're good things. Then they're not lies", said the older man.

Not sure if Cave was joking, Mr. Alexander stood up and stretched his hand out in greeting. "I don't think I've heard of you, Dr. Johnson. But I'm sure I'll hear plenty of good things. Now, I don't remember ever setting an appointment," said Mr. Alexander.

"I'm not that type of doctor, Mr. Alexander. Can I call you Alex instead? Sating the whole title is kind of a waste of time," replied Cave.

"Err- Alexander is my last name, but my first name is-"

"Dr. Johnson, we are on a tight schedule," the small woman beside Cave interrupted.

"Oh, that's right! Caroline and I are here about your daughter, Alex. Her name is Jennifer, right?"

"It's Jane, Dr. Johnson," corrected Caroline.

"Ah, yes. Jane. A rather plain name for a daughter of such a wealthy name. Me? I'd name my kid Gladys or something like that. Nice name. Caroline! If I ever have a daughter, name her Gladys," exclaimed the rather distracted Dr. Johnson.

"Err, why are you asking me about Jane?" It's not like he talked to the girl that much. He barely even remembered her birthday. June 3rd, right? "Her mother or her nanny would be better suited to answer questions about schools and the like".

"Well, Alex, your daughter caught my eye the other day when my company visited her high school to recruit new test sub- err future employees. She was in her computer class, and she showed me the most remarkable program I have ever seen! And she created it! I thought to myself, Cave, if this talent is wasted, well, the world would be a terrible place!" babbled Cave.

"What sort of talent?" If Mr. Alexander could recall correctly, there was nothing particularly special about his daughter. Well, there was the fact when she was four, she took apart and put back together his phone. Mr. Alexander had nearly disowned his daughter that day. But later, when looking over the phone bill, he realized that even though he had gone over the minutes, it only charged him 10 dollars. He put it off as a typo, but that same phone was the one he currently had for the last twelve years. And worked better than a Pear product did.

"That's not really important. What is important though, is that you sign this contract legally binding Jill to my company", Cave grinned. "She'll be taken care of, and you'll certainly be compensated for your troubles, Alex!"

Compensation? "What sort of compensation?"

"A grand amount of money. Enough to put her through college and pay for your new lake house!"

"I'll think about it….. And I don't think her mother would really like it if I just went and gave our daughter away…. And she's still got school". What grade was she in, anyways?

"Don't worry, Alex, the money will be wired directly to you, and your wife already signed the contract".

At the word contract, Caroline pulled out a phonebook worth of papers out of nowhere.

"Just sign that there contract, and Jackie is out of your hair and in my company's capable hands," said Cave, "and the rest of her education will be provided by my company!"

Enough money to pay for a lake house and a college education? And maybe he could finally divorce his harpy socialite of a wife and marry Esparanza! Beautiful, sweet, kind Esparanza... Young Esparanza…

"Alright, I'll sign it".


End file.
